Hell Hath No Fury........

I usually like to start the blog off with a quote or something that I have been thinking about. This time the quote will be the body of the text that is published today. A good friend of mine got this poem in his mailbox today. He has his suspicions who it is from, but as of right now these cannot be confirmed.

I would expect to see something like this from a tormented lover on Valentine's Day, but the person in question was never very punctual. It's around the Valentine's season, I guess, so I will give this person "the nod" here for effort.

Personally, there are two things about this poem that I find quite outlandish: (1) I like how the anonymous author started off trying to rhyme things, but got tired of this in the middle of the poem, and just let all the anger out. My guess is that the rhyming scheme was too restrictive for their anger, so they had to let it go. Case in point, (s)he rhymes "it" with "it", and "you" with "you". Sort of makes me hungry for some Green Eggs and Ham. (2) I really enjoyed the creative use of punctuation. Maybe I was asleep all four years of high school English class, but I don't think that punctuation is used in poetry. Once again, it seems that this person and their broken heart needed something extra to show how much they are hurting. Nice job there, Frost. Next time consider taking the road more often travelled.

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By Anonymous

I can’t get out of bed today,
Or get you off my mind.
I just can’t seem to find a way
To leave the love behind.

You got me hangin’ on a string,
And tried to make me crack.
I tried to give you everything,
But you just threw it back!

My love’s a scratched up CD that’s
Been skipping in my head.
I got to thinking yesterday,
Is this like being dead?

I ain’t trippin’. I’m just missing you.
You know what I’m saying.
You know what I mean.

Every now and then when I’m all alone,
I’d be wishing you would call me on the telephone.
Say you want me back, but you never do.

I feel like such a fool!
There’s nothing I can do!
I’m still fucked up over you!

I can’t take it -
What am I waiting for?
My heart’s still breaking.
I miss you even more,
And I can’t fake it -
The way I could before
I don’t hate you, but I don’t love you!
I can’t stop thinking of you.
It’s true – I’m stuck on you.

Gandalf's Gauntlet

"All you have to do is decide what to do with the time you have been given."
-Gandalf the White

I spent most of this weekend thinking about Time. If you have read the posts from March, you know that I have been looking for the root causes of my increased stress level. Yesterday, while taking a shower, I said out loud, "I would be able to do all this stuff if I just had more time." And with that I had one of those "AH-HA" moments.

Yes, if I had more time I could do everything. On that same note, if I were to be more specific with how I used my time, and made sure that my use of time reflected what was truly important in my life, then I would be able to get the meaningful things done. Bingo!

I thought about this for awhile and came up with a Top 5 List of things to achieve/pursue within the next month. Here it is:

1. Complete Accounting 361 and receive a passing grade
2. Learn more about financial reporting and technical accounting research
3. Swim 2,000 yards 5 time per week
4. Practice yoga 2 times per week
5. Go to Mass every Sunday

Right now these are the most important things that I want to do/achieve right now. In order to actualize this intent, I will have to probably get up around 6 AM, and eat a proper breakfast; I will use the mornings to get all the actual work for the day completed, and use the afternoons to work on new projects. If I am going to swim, it will have to be at night during the week; the same goes for yoga. To effectively use this workout time, I will need to bring a couple snacks to keep my blood sugar up. Additionally, one night a week I will have to wrestle with my accounting homework to make sure that the Sabbath Day is kept holy.......

It seems by doing less, I will actually achieve more.

Down Time

"What is without periods of rest will not endure. "
-Ovid

Learning to back off has been very difficult for me. If something does not make sense to me, then I want to attack it until it collapses. Usually when I do this, my mind ends up collapsing due to frustration and mental fatigue. As I have started to practice yoga consistently, I have learned that the fastest way to injury is to try and force an asana.

I think the same is true of everything else. The more that a person "tries" the harder something becomes. This is especially true with my experience in the accounting world. My biggest breakthroughs happened after I backed off on my effort level, and just watched what was happening. It seems that those "AH-HA!" moments will certainly appear when one creates the space for them to occur.

Lately, I have had to relearn the lesson that sometimes in order to achieve more, you have to do less. Naturally, I want to do it all. I want to get up at 4 AM to swim, hit the office by 7 AM, be out the door by 4 PM, do some yoga, then lift weights. What I have learned though is that if I set out to do ALL of that, I will do NONE of it. So, in order to achieve some goals, I have to lay the things that are most important, and focus on doing those.

Out of His Head

"To work without attachment is to work without the expectation of reward or fear of any punishment in this world or the next. Work so done is a means to the end, and God is the end."
-Ramakrishna

During my college tennis days, I had the fortunate experience of competing with and against Christian Dyvik, a man with a montrous forehand, a horrible temper, and lust for American soft drinks. What I will remember most about Christian, was his uncanny ability to consistently get into The Zone when he needed it most. Just when he looked like he had thrown in the towel, Christian would shake his head, curse in Norwegian or say, "I can't believe I am playing this bad," and then give his opponent a pounding that they never saw coming. I don't think Christian will ever be called a "yogi" or an "enlightened one," but he had a absolute genius for being in the moment and focusing on only what was in front in that moment.

Lately, I have been feeling unneccessary stress at work. The conditions at work have not really changed; the people I work with have not changed; but instead of keeping my head in the moment, my mind has gone out to what is due by the end of the day, the end of the week, and the end of the quarter. All the magic that could be created in financial reporting left me, as my focus was on what I had to do, instead of what I was doing in that particular moment.

Thus, I return to the child-like genius that was displayed by one Christian W. Dyvik. While playing, Christian was locked into the point he was playing. A 747 could have crashed on the court next to him, and I don't think he would have noticed. He took care of each ball that came onto his side of the court; in his world, that was the only thing that mattered at that moment. The last one and the next one were illusions; all that he was concerned with was the present.