East Meets West

"A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done."
- Vince Lombardi

The past two months have been the biggest challenge of my young professional life. A lot of individuals came together to achieve some difficult tasks. Today the storm broke. There are just a few minor pieces of the puzzle which remain to be assembled. Now that the hustle and bustle of it all is over, I am reminded of something that happened to me last winter.

I was on the cusp of finishing my last accounting class. We were in the middle of the 10-K, I didn't have much time to study for exams, and I was on the C or D bubble. I have never in my entire life gotten a D in a class. On top of it, if I got a C I would receive 75% of the tuition cost from my company. In this trying time, I called my uncle for support.

My Uncle Bobby is one of those very cool, ultra wise guys. He was practicing yoga in the 70s, meditates, and has been mistaken for an Eastern Philosophy professor at UCLA. So I called him, told him that I might have to take the class again and he told me the following:

"All you can do is your best. Take one problem at a time. Follow your breathe as you work through things. After that, you must surrender the outcome."

"Well," I said, "If I get a D in the class, then I am out about $2,000 in tuition remission."

"Okay," he said, "Forget everything I just said. You are going to go in there and kick some ass. You are going to go beat the fucking shit out of this thing."

The Secret Lives of Army Rangers

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
- George Orwell

Most of you know my cousin got married last weekend. He is a graduate of West Pointe Military Academy and Ranger School, recently made captain, and was accepted to the Special Forces a few weeks back. Two years ago I got awfully close to joining the Navy in the hopes of becoming a SEAL. When it came down to it, I didn't have the chutspa to put my ass on the line like he did. It pains me to admit this, but for awhile I was extremely jealous that he was the one defending our country, while I crunched numbers and sweated a mortgage.

As Divine Providence would have it, I was placed at a table with two Rangers. They were both men of average height and build; if you saw either of them on the street you would never guess that they could kill you in less than ten seconds. After a glass or two of wine I worked up the courage to tell them how much I respected what they did, defending this great nation, and how much I appreciate the sacrifices that they have made. For a brief second there, I was ready to get up from the table, drive to the nearest recruiters office and join the Armed Forces.

With that thought in the back of my mind one of the guys said, "Yeah, it's not for everybody. It's a tough life. If I had to do it all over again, I really think I would have gone to a norma university and have tried to work in Finance." I couldn't fucking believe it. For about two years I have fantasized about being in the military and all the while this Ranger had fantasized about having a job like mine. And with his comments I gained a small insight into the human condition: Everyone wants to be someone else.

My guess is that CEOs dream of being football coaches, firefighters dream of being professional athletes, and Starbucks' baristas dream of being professional writers. These examples may not be 100% correct, but you get the drift.

For the past two months I have had this sentence in my mind that I couldn't quite finish. "In the end, what you are trying to create in your life is ________." After this weekend I think I know what that missing blank is: pure presence. It seems that the whole point of this Cosmic Dance is to get to a place where the life you are living is the life that you want to live, and your mind doesn't consistently say, "Gosh, I wish I was somone else." When a person gets to a point where they are living their life they way they see fit, and are truly comfortable in that space that magic happens.

So, in the past month I have ruled out the idea of being a high school teacher and a Special Forces Operative. All that I really have to do now is focus on my work at hand and make it through this quarter's financial reporting season.