The Other Side of Heartache
"I hated her now with a hatred more fatal than indifference because it was the other side of love."
- J. August Strindberg
"Just don't know what to do
I'd give anything to
Be with you"
- take from Love Sick by Bob Dylan
I had dinner with some friends last weekend, and one of them said quite proudly,"I'm not a hopeless romantic, I am a hopeful romantic." Great line. It encapsulates all the feelings and emotions of the single people who are in the process of finding that special someone.
Most people who fall into this category--and I am listing myself right now as their unofficial spokesman--have this unshakable feeling that their is someone out their that's their kind of crazy. They are obsessive about something that you can understand--maybe good coffee, budgeting out when you have to leave for yoga so that you can be ten minutes early and get a good spot, specifically ordering tap water with no ice at a restaurant and then sending it back when it comes with ice, or insisting upon an uber fattening breakfast after a 10 mile run. Everyone is crazy, but it's a lot easier to be in a relationship when you understand what type of crazy your significant other qualifies as.
I'd also submit that most "hopeful romantics" are hopeful that their will be some sort of unexplainable chemical attraction between the two of you. I've had two personal experiences where I locked eyes with someone and it felt like Time was severely slowed down and I had been punched in the stomach--both sensations occurring simultaneously. One of these experiences lead to a relationship with a woman that was addicted to pain killers, and failed miserably--MAD will remember this one. The other didn't even get off the ground. Irregardless, I know from experience that this sort of attraction is possible.
A few months ago I wrote about how hard it was to get over my last girlfriend. With her it wasn't love at first sight, and she wasn't exactly what I would call the "right" kind of crazy. Even though these are my only two criteria, she did something to me that knocked me on my ass. Yep, emotionally she kicked me in the gut, and knocked the wind out of my sails. I'm not sure if she laced my iced tea with some sort of pheromone, but this one really got under my skin.
Over the past few weeks though that emotional hold has started to give. As this started to happen, I found myself extremely drawn to a new woman. Apparently we were on the same coffee break schedule, and I would say hi to her as we passed or waited in line at Starbucks. Whenever we would pass, I couldn't tell if she was absolutely attracted to me, or if I mildly repulsed her. It was one of the other, and I just couldn't tell. So this behavior goes on for a few weeks, and I am in a holding pattern.
Fast forward to yesterday afternoon: I am sitting outside Starbucks after work, enjoying the weather and talking to Aunt Shelly on the phone about a few ideas for the book. And then this woman--and trust me, she is absolutely sex on legs--who I have been admiring during my coffee break walks by arm-in-arm with what had to be her significant other. The guy was about 5 foot 10, balding, and had the darkest, thickest eyebrows that I had ever seen on a human being. This man was by no means a handsome man. I don't even think it's fair to say that he was an average looking man. On a ratings scale, he sits right in the middle of average to flat-out unattractive.
As she walked by she waved at me, and I waved back, flashing the biggest smile I had in my repertoire. We locked eyes, and it was almost like she was saying, "Yeah, I know."
However, there are two caveats to this situation that could throw my whole analysis off. (1) There is a strong possibility that this guy she was with has a lot of money, or rather, spends a lot of money. Scottsdale is pretty materialistic, and there are a lot of people who are solely concerned with material matters. (2) This guy could have a 14 inch meat stick. There are some things you just can't teach, and this is one of them. Maybe God felt really sorry for dishing out the unsightly eyebrows and blessed him in other ways.
Anyway, for the first time in an extended period of time, I am on the other side of heartache. It's a good place to be. I'm not going to rush into anything now, just wait for someone who is an the same "frequency" to come my way. It's more a question of "when" and not "if."
- J. August Strindberg
"Just don't know what to do
I'd give anything to
Be with you"
- take from Love Sick by Bob Dylan
I had dinner with some friends last weekend, and one of them said quite proudly,"I'm not a hopeless romantic, I am a hopeful romantic." Great line. It encapsulates all the feelings and emotions of the single people who are in the process of finding that special someone.
Most people who fall into this category--and I am listing myself right now as their unofficial spokesman--have this unshakable feeling that their is someone out their that's their kind of crazy. They are obsessive about something that you can understand--maybe good coffee, budgeting out when you have to leave for yoga so that you can be ten minutes early and get a good spot, specifically ordering tap water with no ice at a restaurant and then sending it back when it comes with ice, or insisting upon an uber fattening breakfast after a 10 mile run. Everyone is crazy, but it's a lot easier to be in a relationship when you understand what type of crazy your significant other qualifies as.
I'd also submit that most "hopeful romantics" are hopeful that their will be some sort of unexplainable chemical attraction between the two of you. I've had two personal experiences where I locked eyes with someone and it felt like Time was severely slowed down and I had been punched in the stomach--both sensations occurring simultaneously. One of these experiences lead to a relationship with a woman that was addicted to pain killers, and failed miserably--MAD will remember this one. The other didn't even get off the ground. Irregardless, I know from experience that this sort of attraction is possible.
A few months ago I wrote about how hard it was to get over my last girlfriend. With her it wasn't love at first sight, and she wasn't exactly what I would call the "right" kind of crazy. Even though these are my only two criteria, she did something to me that knocked me on my ass. Yep, emotionally she kicked me in the gut, and knocked the wind out of my sails. I'm not sure if she laced my iced tea with some sort of pheromone, but this one really got under my skin.
Over the past few weeks though that emotional hold has started to give. As this started to happen, I found myself extremely drawn to a new woman. Apparently we were on the same coffee break schedule, and I would say hi to her as we passed or waited in line at Starbucks. Whenever we would pass, I couldn't tell if she was absolutely attracted to me, or if I mildly repulsed her. It was one of the other, and I just couldn't tell. So this behavior goes on for a few weeks, and I am in a holding pattern.
Fast forward to yesterday afternoon: I am sitting outside Starbucks after work, enjoying the weather and talking to Aunt Shelly on the phone about a few ideas for the book. And then this woman--and trust me, she is absolutely sex on legs--who I have been admiring during my coffee break walks by arm-in-arm with what had to be her significant other. The guy was about 5 foot 10, balding, and had the darkest, thickest eyebrows that I had ever seen on a human being. This man was by no means a handsome man. I don't even think it's fair to say that he was an average looking man. On a ratings scale, he sits right in the middle of average to flat-out unattractive.
As she walked by she waved at me, and I waved back, flashing the biggest smile I had in my repertoire. We locked eyes, and it was almost like she was saying, "Yeah, I know."
However, there are two caveats to this situation that could throw my whole analysis off. (1) There is a strong possibility that this guy she was with has a lot of money, or rather, spends a lot of money. Scottsdale is pretty materialistic, and there are a lot of people who are solely concerned with material matters. (2) This guy could have a 14 inch meat stick. There are some things you just can't teach, and this is one of them. Maybe God felt really sorry for dishing out the unsightly eyebrows and blessed him in other ways.
Anyway, for the first time in an extended period of time, I am on the other side of heartache. It's a good place to be. I'm not going to rush into anything now, just wait for someone who is an the same "frequency" to come my way. It's more a question of "when" and not "if."
posted by Zen_Accountant at 8:56 AM
2 Comments:
Perhaps he's actually just a really good guy, and it has nothing to do with his money...or his...um...physical features.
I know that there is an image out there about beautiful women. They must be gold diggers or stupid or vacuous. Maybe this particular woman just happens to be mature and healthy as well as beautiful. Maybe she can appreciate that a man who is loving, kind, interesting, funny, and smart is a great catch. Maybe she has some friends you could meet . . .
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