Double Generation Gap
"The lessons of the past are ignored and obliterated in a contemporary antagonism known as the generation gap. "
- Spiro Agnew
A friend of mine admitted to me that they had secretly been keeping a blog. She trusted me enough to send me the link. While I was reading the material, I came across one entry she wrote about her little cousin's fascination with Cinderella. We all know the story: a beautiful woman is basically kept hostage by her step-mother, and then through a series of miraculous events, she and Prince Charming live happily ever after. I spent a good chunk of time afterwards thinking about the "happily ever after" idea, and I am beginning to think it is this idea that has caused a great deal of suffering in a many people lives.
Personally, I think the fairy tale ideal of perfect is an absolute crock of shit. Life is not perfect, but growing up I watched a lot of that Disney horse shit because it was supposed to be good, wholesome entertainment. Now there isn't any heavy duty swearing or sex in Disney cartoons, but they do put into a little kid's head that things end perfectly. Growing up with this idea of "perfect" created a completely delusional ideal. I don't know about any of you, but have you ever ridden off into the sunset, or even heard about someone riding off into the sunset? That sort of thing just doesn't happen.
This got me thinking about my grandparent's generation--the so called Greatest Generation. My grandpa on my mother's side was born around 1920, probably around the time that World War I had ended. His father grew up in Belfast, right after the Potato Famine had ended and thousands of people died of starvation. He probably grew up hearing stories about hard times in Ireland. My grandpa would experience the Great Depression, and later serve in World War II. Based on all of his life's experiences, I don't get the impression that he grew up with "happily ever after" mentality. If anything, I think he grew up with a sense that Life is always going to be unpredictable, often times severely unfair; you get through it by rolling up your sleeves and getting to work.
Now I don't think that my grandpa lived in a simpler time. But I do believe that things were a lot less sanitized in his time than they are now. Some of us know people who have lost their lives in the conflict in Iraq, but for the most part if we don't like what's going on in the Middle East we just change the channel. Back then, bodies were being shipped home from World War II, and the more bodies that were shipped home the more War Bonds people bought. Things weren't simpler, they were different.
As I look at what I see as the times my grandparents lived in, I'm beginning to really get a sense of why family was so important to them, and why they made it such a priority to spend time together. My grandfather has been quoted as saying, "The McGill family is the most exclusive club in the world. The only way in is through birth or marriage." It's a total rip off of a quote from Joe Kennedy, but it tells me a lot about his view of the world. In challenging, tumultous times, only your family is going to really support you. During good times, they are going to be there to remind you that the bad times weren't that far away, so enjoy the good spots while they are here. With my Irish family, this usually involves a great meal and a good drink.
One of the big ones that I am starting to get a handle on is that Life really is a dynamic, full bodied experience. You are going to get knocked down. Sometimes you will get knocked down so fucking hard, you won't know if you can get up. Irregardless, you get up. Other times, things just fall into place, and it's magical. Other times, you are just somewhere in the middle: going to work each day, gutting things out, dealing with situations that are mildly annoying. But that's Life.
- Spiro Agnew
A friend of mine admitted to me that they had secretly been keeping a blog. She trusted me enough to send me the link. While I was reading the material, I came across one entry she wrote about her little cousin's fascination with Cinderella. We all know the story: a beautiful woman is basically kept hostage by her step-mother, and then through a series of miraculous events, she and Prince Charming live happily ever after. I spent a good chunk of time afterwards thinking about the "happily ever after" idea, and I am beginning to think it is this idea that has caused a great deal of suffering in a many people lives.
Personally, I think the fairy tale ideal of perfect is an absolute crock of shit. Life is not perfect, but growing up I watched a lot of that Disney horse shit because it was supposed to be good, wholesome entertainment. Now there isn't any heavy duty swearing or sex in Disney cartoons, but they do put into a little kid's head that things end perfectly. Growing up with this idea of "perfect" created a completely delusional ideal. I don't know about any of you, but have you ever ridden off into the sunset, or even heard about someone riding off into the sunset? That sort of thing just doesn't happen.
This got me thinking about my grandparent's generation--the so called Greatest Generation. My grandpa on my mother's side was born around 1920, probably around the time that World War I had ended. His father grew up in Belfast, right after the Potato Famine had ended and thousands of people died of starvation. He probably grew up hearing stories about hard times in Ireland. My grandpa would experience the Great Depression, and later serve in World War II. Based on all of his life's experiences, I don't get the impression that he grew up with "happily ever after" mentality. If anything, I think he grew up with a sense that Life is always going to be unpredictable, often times severely unfair; you get through it by rolling up your sleeves and getting to work.
Now I don't think that my grandpa lived in a simpler time. But I do believe that things were a lot less sanitized in his time than they are now. Some of us know people who have lost their lives in the conflict in Iraq, but for the most part if we don't like what's going on in the Middle East we just change the channel. Back then, bodies were being shipped home from World War II, and the more bodies that were shipped home the more War Bonds people bought. Things weren't simpler, they were different.
As I look at what I see as the times my grandparents lived in, I'm beginning to really get a sense of why family was so important to them, and why they made it such a priority to spend time together. My grandfather has been quoted as saying, "The McGill family is the most exclusive club in the world. The only way in is through birth or marriage." It's a total rip off of a quote from Joe Kennedy, but it tells me a lot about his view of the world. In challenging, tumultous times, only your family is going to really support you. During good times, they are going to be there to remind you that the bad times weren't that far away, so enjoy the good spots while they are here. With my Irish family, this usually involves a great meal and a good drink.
One of the big ones that I am starting to get a handle on is that Life really is a dynamic, full bodied experience. You are going to get knocked down. Sometimes you will get knocked down so fucking hard, you won't know if you can get up. Irregardless, you get up. Other times, things just fall into place, and it's magical. Other times, you are just somewhere in the middle: going to work each day, gutting things out, dealing with situations that are mildly annoying. But that's Life.
posted by Zen_Accountant at 9:46 AM
2 Comments:
Wow! Amen to that. There was an odd sense of relief, like a burden lifted from my shoulders, when I read "Disney horse shit." It was as though this was a truth imprisioned in the cold dark cellar of life, banging its bloody fist against the door just hoping that some day someone would set it free. You are absolutely right that we are conditioned from the very beginning to believe in and desire an impossible ideal. The conditioning changes over time but it is always there. Even the people who make millions of dollars, who by all means should be able to live an easy life are miserable. I know a woman who makes double my annual salary every two weeks, and still lives paycheck to paycheck because she is chasing the dream.
I totally agree that we sanitize things way too much. Kids should know that the world they are entering is going to kick the hell out of them, physically and emotionally. Be ready for it.
My wife loves the Clorox kitchen wipes. She uses them all the time. I say let my kid get exposed to the bugs in life. Most often what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Bones break and heal stronger, so should your mind.
MAD
As I said earlier, it's weird that
most Disney heroines are motherless.
I guess that makes them more vulnerable and increases the dramatic tension. And, so, maybe, in a weird
Disneyesque way, Walt was trying to
prepare children for the bad times
ahead. He was telling little ones all over the world, "Yes, you will experience loss, you will meet monsters, and dwarfs are scary, especially 7 of them. But there is happiness after the bad apples, the
scary stepmothers, and the beast.
I guess he just ended his movies a little too soon. Should have shown the prince and his beautiful bride arguing about his filthy horse or her expensive glass slippers.
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