Frame By Frame
"My greatest challenge has been to change the mindset of people. Mindsets play strange tricks on us. We see things the way our minds have instructed our eyes to see."
- Muhammad Yunnus, 2006 Nobel Peace Prize winner and micro-finance pioneer
So the past week I have begun to train again for half marathon season. It's been exceptionally hot, and humid here in Arizona the past few weeks. As a result, I haven't been able to run after work. I was feeling frustrated about my current training circumstances, so I called my friend Phil--my buddy who I will be running the San Diego half marathon--to get some direction on what to do.
Phil is what I would call a true runner. He ran while studying architecture at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, and has competed in races since graduating as well. He was the first person to take me to a "track" workout, and is one of the few people I know that can compete in a mile, a 10K and a half marathon with proficiency.
So, I call him up. We start talking about what's going on in both our lives, blah blah blah. Phil mentions to me that it's been really cold and damp in San Francisco, says "Being able to train in the heat is one big advantage that you have over me." POW! BOOM! Within a handful of seconds my mind-frame totally shifted. I wonder how often this happens in our lives. The very thing that I perceived as a huge hinderance to my training was the very thing that would be my greatest advantage come race day.
I think a lot of the time our minds get hung up on "first time feedback." We do something that isn't comfortable, or isn't what we expect it to be, and our mind is locked with that perception for an extended period of time. I'm not sure how to go about this, but sometimes I think that re-examining our hardened beliefs can really open up some new possibilities that one never realized existed.
So those are my thoughts for this weekend. I'm in the office for a good chunk of today, but I'll go for a run around 5 PM tonight to take advantage of the heat and humidity.
Namaste
- Muhammad Yunnus, 2006 Nobel Peace Prize winner and micro-finance pioneer
So the past week I have begun to train again for half marathon season. It's been exceptionally hot, and humid here in Arizona the past few weeks. As a result, I haven't been able to run after work. I was feeling frustrated about my current training circumstances, so I called my friend Phil--my buddy who I will be running the San Diego half marathon--to get some direction on what to do.
Phil is what I would call a true runner. He ran while studying architecture at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, and has competed in races since graduating as well. He was the first person to take me to a "track" workout, and is one of the few people I know that can compete in a mile, a 10K and a half marathon with proficiency.
So, I call him up. We start talking about what's going on in both our lives, blah blah blah. Phil mentions to me that it's been really cold and damp in San Francisco, says "Being able to train in the heat is one big advantage that you have over me." POW! BOOM! Within a handful of seconds my mind-frame totally shifted. I wonder how often this happens in our lives. The very thing that I perceived as a huge hinderance to my training was the very thing that would be my greatest advantage come race day.
I think a lot of the time our minds get hung up on "first time feedback." We do something that isn't comfortable, or isn't what we expect it to be, and our mind is locked with that perception for an extended period of time. I'm not sure how to go about this, but sometimes I think that re-examining our hardened beliefs can really open up some new possibilities that one never realized existed.
So those are my thoughts for this weekend. I'm in the office for a good chunk of today, but I'll go for a run around 5 PM tonight to take advantage of the heat and humidity.
Namaste
posted by Zen_Accountant at 8:22 AM
3 Comments:
I haven't visited in a while. I knew you were busy studying and I was busy with my own cares. Nice to read your voice again.
Your comments on July 21, "Reconnection" were powerful. I was inspired to ask forgiveness for hurting a person that I love. It did not go well.
I am continuing to think and pray on this. I will write more as I gain perspective.
This person is my sister.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aunt Shelly, I'm Mike's friend that inspired him to go about this. If I may comment...
Interpreting what you said about asking for forgiveness, I believe that this is where maybe you misunderstood. In apologizing to Mike, I didn't apologize to get something - forgiveness. If someone senses an "in order to" in your apology, then it won't feel authentic to them.
The real power is in getting really present to the cost of what YOU did, whether they did something or not. With Mike, I got present to the cost of me judging him two years ago and that really bummed me out - the cost being that we didn't talk again for a long time.
Nobody owes you forgiveness, it's a gift that they may or may not give, and you have to accept that they may not, at least at that moment.
I think in the apology it's powerful to say aloud the cost of what you have done too.
You may not be forgiven, but you will feel very liberated and freed nonetheless. And whether you are forgiven or not, you've given them a gift too. You've given them to chance to move on from whatever may have happened too.
The second part of cleaning up your messes that makes a big difference too is in creating some kind of future where there is now a clearing. It may go something like, "..., and I'd hope for us to be able to be good friends again."
I hope that helps.
Dave
PS: it's almost funny, I'll find that when I have a few minutes of maybe waiting in line or something I'll go through my whole cell phone list of phone number LOOKING for any possible messes to clean up, be they big or small. It's made a huge difference in my life.
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