Fatty Fatty Fat Fat
"Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a cup of coffee and a donut?"
- Jack LaLanne
I usually run with a couple of guys I work with on Wednesday evening. The past week I got my ass handed to me by a 57 year old man during this run. Mind you, this particular 57 year-old, who I will refer to as Wally, is a 12 time IronMan finisher, but I should be able to get him in a 4.5 mile run. I knew something was off, so I went back to the core metric of fitness: I weighed myself.
Apparently, my trip to Pocatello, ID, left me with much more than new business contacts. I had put on 7 pounds in about 5 days. I have no clue how this happened. I didn't poison myself with that much with the questionable food up there, and managed to break a sweat each day I was up there. I guess I am not 22 anymore.
I mentioned my horrible weight gain to Aunt Shelly, who prescribed "Uncle Mike's Health Plan" which consists of the following: no red meat, no sauces, no fried food, no alcohol, 1 hour of cardio each day. Uncle Mike might as well add "a real hard kick to the nuts first thing in the morning," to his health plan. This plan absolutely sucks. However, I do see the logic to his plan: decrease calories consumed, increase calories burned. Okay, I got it.
After pouring myself a Scotch whiskey last night, followed by a big glass of water, I went to bed at 8 PM, and set my alarm for 4:30 AM. More importantly, when the alarm went off this morning, I actually got up and dragged my ass to the pool. I swam for about an hour, then ate breakfast. My mind was clear so, I formalized my own "plan."
For the next few weeks--which is about how long it's going to take to get the dead weight off--I'm going to get up earlier than usual and get my metabolism going through some form of cardio. I'll stay away from French fries at lunch, and eat smaller meals throughout the day. I will not however give up alcohol, red meat, or any of the other things on Uncle Mike's Plan. I'm just going to be mindful of calories consumed and calories burned.
As for one Jack Lalanne, I don't eat donuts or light up a smoke in the morning, but I do like the coffee. It's one of my few vices. I know it's not the best thing in the world, but I get a lot of enjoyment out of a good cup of coffee. Again, it's a fine balance.
- Jack LaLanne
I usually run with a couple of guys I work with on Wednesday evening. The past week I got my ass handed to me by a 57 year old man during this run. Mind you, this particular 57 year-old, who I will refer to as Wally, is a 12 time IronMan finisher, but I should be able to get him in a 4.5 mile run. I knew something was off, so I went back to the core metric of fitness: I weighed myself.
Apparently, my trip to Pocatello, ID, left me with much more than new business contacts. I had put on 7 pounds in about 5 days. I have no clue how this happened. I didn't poison myself with that much with the questionable food up there, and managed to break a sweat each day I was up there. I guess I am not 22 anymore.
I mentioned my horrible weight gain to Aunt Shelly, who prescribed "Uncle Mike's Health Plan" which consists of the following: no red meat, no sauces, no fried food, no alcohol, 1 hour of cardio each day. Uncle Mike might as well add "a real hard kick to the nuts first thing in the morning," to his health plan. This plan absolutely sucks. However, I do see the logic to his plan: decrease calories consumed, increase calories burned. Okay, I got it.
After pouring myself a Scotch whiskey last night, followed by a big glass of water, I went to bed at 8 PM, and set my alarm for 4:30 AM. More importantly, when the alarm went off this morning, I actually got up and dragged my ass to the pool. I swam for about an hour, then ate breakfast. My mind was clear so, I formalized my own "plan."
For the next few weeks--which is about how long it's going to take to get the dead weight off--I'm going to get up earlier than usual and get my metabolism going through some form of cardio. I'll stay away from French fries at lunch, and eat smaller meals throughout the day. I will not however give up alcohol, red meat, or any of the other things on Uncle Mike's Plan. I'm just going to be mindful of calories consumed and calories burned.
As for one Jack Lalanne, I don't eat donuts or light up a smoke in the morning, but I do like the coffee. It's one of my few vices. I know it's not the best thing in the world, but I get a lot of enjoyment out of a good cup of coffee. Again, it's a fine balance.
posted by Zen_Accountant at 7:22 AM
1 Comments:
Uncle Mike is obviously from a different clan. He is not into hedonism. We'd been married about 5 years and I commented that he doesn't like chocolate. He responded by saying he really does enjoy chocolate. I was confused--he never touches the stuff. Well, why would he? It's not good for you. Perfect logic.
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