Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Crash

"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."
- Officer Graham as portrayed by Don Cheadle in the movie Crash

So yesterday--around this same time--I was driving home. While I was driving in the left hand lance, a car pulled into the suicide lane, kept accelerating into my lane. I slammed on my breaks while veering right to miss the car, bumped into the car on my right. The car which caused the accident drove off into the Arizona sunset--fast. It was either leave the scene of an accident to chase this car, or stay put. As a Toyota Prius isn't exactly a performance vehicle, I chose to stay put.

The good news is, both myself and the person I bumped into are fine--not a scratch on either one of us--and the damage to both cars is just cosmetic. The bad news is that I am at fault in this accident from the perspective of my insurance company--the police didn't give me a citation--I'll have to pay deductible, and the deductible of the person I bumped into.

Gemini's aren't known for being mellow, simple people, and I've been sort of wrestling with myself about this whole situation. I think what frustrates me the most is that in my head, I believe that because I am safe driver and a good person--I work hard, pay my taxes, don't have any addictions, and treat people well--that I am above all of this random stuff that life throw at you. In my head this makes perfect sense. When thoughts are Reality collide, there is bound to be some frustration.

The truth is that what happened is just a sequence of actions, nothing more. The internal judgements and justifications like, "I'm not the one who caused this," don't make reality any different, or change the appropriate way to handle this situation. In fact, these mental dances just make the pain linger on unnecessarily.

Now in time, this won't seem like a big deal. The phrase, "This too shall pass," comes to mind. But until it doesn't pass, it will be a matter of monitoring my thought and remembering what is changeable and what isn't.

Namaste

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh that totally stinks. In your new car too.
I had a similar situation a few years ago after I purchased my motorcylce. I was driving down the street and a car changed lanes right towards me. I slammed on my breaks, did some acrobatics and avoided hitting the car. I did end up dumping my bike and causing a bit of damage. Needless to say the car didn't stop because they probably didn't even know what they did.
My call to the insurance company revealed that it was my fault which pissed me off. So I asked who's fault would it be if I hit the car. Their fault. So I said that next time I would have to hit (or be hit by) the car to prove my innocence. "We do not encourage you to get into an accident."
It basically came down to the insurance company must lay blame. If I hit a deer that came out of nowhere, it is my fault because they can't get money from a deer. I stayed pissed for quite a while and changed insurance companies.
So lesson learned, always make contact with the person at fault.
MAD

8:22 AM  
Blogger Walter's Mom said...

It's a sour feeling when you believe
yourself to be "in the right" and you still end up with the blame. I hate that. It's not fair and it's not right and . . .
It seems to be part of the human condition to expect equity. I guess one sign of maturity is to realize that justice is an ideal and not a reality.
On the other hand, every now and then you get away with something that you really didn't deserve.
Once I forged a teacher's signature on a project and sailed through. It was my one and only "cheat" and I felt guilty and elated all at the same time. Maybe it all works out in the end.

12:59 PM  

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