Five Two

"How old would you be if you didn't know hold you are?"
- Satchel Paige

Today one of my most dedicated readers--Aunt Shelly--is celebrating a birthday. I'd love to say that I knew about this for some time now, and sent her flowers to mark the occasion. But the truth is that I found out yesterday when she sent me an email and said point blank, "Tomorrow is my birthday." I think she realizes that most men in the McGill family--maybe I should extend this to say most men in general--don't do well with subtle hints. Her statement was direct, yet tactful. So in celebration of this day, I decided to write something.

Wind the clock back 7 years to when I was a cocky, semi-idiotic college student who had talked his way into a summer internship in audit with Deloitte and Touche. As part of the internship, I was sent off to Disney World for a week of training. Most of the time spent there was a load of happy horse shit. Basically, they just wanted to see if you could get absolutely drunk each night, and still manage to show up to class the next morning and be semi-productive. The one thing that I will never forget about that time in Florida was a speech by Jim Taylor--author of "The 500 Year Delta: What Happens After What Comes Next"--that he called "Be the Wave."

Like a lot of the other stuff at that training session, Taylor had some touchy feely fluff going on. However, he did make it absolutely clear that in his mind, being fifty was the perfect age. I remember how he talked about being able to play poker for a lot of money, and be able to hold his own--which is something he couldn't do at, say, thirty or forty. He could still go out and run half marathons, but didn't feel the need to prove how manly he was by running a full marathon. He had a much deeper appreciation for his wife, and the love that the two of them shared--some might say that it was "better than new." Now he might have gotten glimpses of these things as a younger man, but for some reason, all these things became clear as day when he entered his fifties.

Now wind the clock back five years to when I was a beaten down second year at Deloitte in the audit department. I headed to Mass on Sunday night to get my spirits up for another work week, and got a helluva sermon from Fr. Tom Lucas that I will call "Transform or Deform." He said that over time, people either continue to grow and move with Life, or they hang on to certain moments in their past. If you still think you are the twenty-five year old sex-pot at forty-six, you probably are going to perpetually frustrated with yourself, and the reception you get from the rest of the world. But if you move with Life as it comes, then you will evolve with Life and it's events. Things that you never imagined possible will open up right in front of you--things that are only possible with the passing of time and the self knowledge that comes with it.

From these two experiences, I'm going to submit that being fifty or being in your early fifties, is the best time of a person's life--given that they have chosen to transform over time. If you've gone about things properly, you'll have friends and family that know you on a very deep level, you know what your utility is professionally, and hopefully, you have enough money in the bank to buy some nice things--you don't stalk the Nordstrom sale listing or drive 700 miles to save a few hundred US dollars on a suit. But maybe, just maybe, when a person is in this age bracket, they will have the pleasure of seeing how perceived defeats and tragedies from their past gave way to transformation. I think that right there is the greatest blessing that you only get with two or three additional decades of data points.

So, Aunt Shelly, may the time you spend today be filled with joy, and much love from your friends and family.

Namaste