Love is a Four Letter Word
"I used to think love was a game of archery: shoot for a target (object or person) and the closer you come to bullseye, the more love you feel. Yoga teaches that love is more like a game of catch. Holding your hand in one place and wondering why you can't catch the ball is a common struggle in the game of love. The truth is...it's always comin’…you just gotta adapt and receive love in its ever-changing form. In other words, get your uniform dirty. High, low, a one-hopper in the dirt, the backhanded diving grab…you’re ready to receive…not getting stuck on any single desire or relationship."
- David Romanelli, taken from http://www.yeahdaveyoga.com/2005/11/get-dirty-in-game-of-love.htm
When I started reading David Romanelli's blog back in 2004, I was inspired to start my own a few months later. For the most part, I thought that Dave's comments were semi-insightful, but for the most part fell into a 3 paragraph format and always finished with a quote. Once in awhile David would come up with something that was truly astonishing. The aforementioned blog was one of those that knocked me on my butt.
I returned to this "lesson" this week as I was faced with a "love" related issue. I bumped into a woman at Starbuck that I had met months earlier, but we never really connected. This time I got her number and we have since gone on two dates. For the first time in about a year I felt that "chemistry" thing. When I first set eyes on her I heard "Speak of the Devil" by Chris Isaak playing in my head. Time seemed to move slower, and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. It might sound odd, but it was pure magic.
Anyway, this week she sent me an email saying that she really liked spending time with me, but she's in the process of getting her career off the ground. Now things might work out between the two of us, but--as always--the future is uncertain. And it was this reminder about the absolute uncertainty of love that sent me scrambling to find David Romanelli's blog about the dyanmic nature of love.
The big message that I took from re-reading his blog centers around the analogy of love being like a game of catch. I pick up the ball, and throw it to the object of my affection. If they throw it back, great. If not, well at least you tried to play. The miraculous thing here is that this sort of dynamic is ever present in a person's life. Getting bummed about one person not wanting to play makes you forget about all the other possibilities. You can get so locked into one person and their decision that you miss all the other opportunities that are out there.
This became clear today when I was at a different Starbucks and I locked eyes with a different woman and got that same warm fuzzy sensation. She was with another guy, but it didn't really matter. That same sort of energy is out there and it doesn't end with one person.
The other thing that I have been thinking about is this: sometimes the love you need doesn't come in the form that you think it will. When I think of people who are in great relationships, I wouldn't always put them together. There are very few Ken and Barbie couples out there. Much like swimming, sometimes the most effecient methods don't always look the prettiest, and vice versa. Being open to something that might isn't exactly what you think it should be, often has miraculous implications.
So, where does that leave me with the object of my affection? Well, if she calls and wants to play a game of catch--so to speak--then great. If not, then I find someone else on the same wavelength and see if they throw the ball back to me. As much I like to joke about love being a four-letter word like "fuck," it's simply an energy dynamic. Energy has to be given and received for the dynamic to be functional.
Namaste
- David Romanelli, taken from http://www.yeahdaveyoga.com/2005/11/get-dirty-in-game-of-love.htm
When I started reading David Romanelli's blog back in 2004, I was inspired to start my own a few months later. For the most part, I thought that Dave's comments were semi-insightful, but for the most part fell into a 3 paragraph format and always finished with a quote. Once in awhile David would come up with something that was truly astonishing. The aforementioned blog was one of those that knocked me on my butt.
I returned to this "lesson" this week as I was faced with a "love" related issue. I bumped into a woman at Starbuck that I had met months earlier, but we never really connected. This time I got her number and we have since gone on two dates. For the first time in about a year I felt that "chemistry" thing. When I first set eyes on her I heard "Speak of the Devil" by Chris Isaak playing in my head. Time seemed to move slower, and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. It might sound odd, but it was pure magic.
Anyway, this week she sent me an email saying that she really liked spending time with me, but she's in the process of getting her career off the ground. Now things might work out between the two of us, but--as always--the future is uncertain. And it was this reminder about the absolute uncertainty of love that sent me scrambling to find David Romanelli's blog about the dyanmic nature of love.
The big message that I took from re-reading his blog centers around the analogy of love being like a game of catch. I pick up the ball, and throw it to the object of my affection. If they throw it back, great. If not, well at least you tried to play. The miraculous thing here is that this sort of dynamic is ever present in a person's life. Getting bummed about one person not wanting to play makes you forget about all the other possibilities. You can get so locked into one person and their decision that you miss all the other opportunities that are out there.
This became clear today when I was at a different Starbucks and I locked eyes with a different woman and got that same warm fuzzy sensation. She was with another guy, but it didn't really matter. That same sort of energy is out there and it doesn't end with one person.
The other thing that I have been thinking about is this: sometimes the love you need doesn't come in the form that you think it will. When I think of people who are in great relationships, I wouldn't always put them together. There are very few Ken and Barbie couples out there. Much like swimming, sometimes the most effecient methods don't always look the prettiest, and vice versa. Being open to something that might isn't exactly what you think it should be, often has miraculous implications.
So, where does that leave me with the object of my affection? Well, if she calls and wants to play a game of catch--so to speak--then great. If not, then I find someone else on the same wavelength and see if they throw the ball back to me. As much I like to joke about love being a four-letter word like "fuck," it's simply an energy dynamic. Energy has to be given and received for the dynamic to be functional.
Namaste
posted by Zen_Accountant at 5:05 PM
1 Comments:
Hopefully the other player in your current game of catch doesn't read this entry or she will think you're easily infatuated with girls you meet at Starbucks. Maybe they put something in the coffee...I've always wondered why it is so popular.
Anyway, you are right in that you always have to be prepared to catch what's thrown your way. However you don't have to settle for a passive role in the game. Maybe you lob more than one ball her way? Maybe you find a way to show her that you can fit in with her growing career. Sometimes it is more like a game of tag. You have to chase your object before you can play catch.
How you play depends on what the object of your affection needs. The hard part is figuring that out before you actually know someone.
MAD
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