Being Stretched

“The only thing in this world that doesn’t require effort is failure.”
- The 2 Mile Marker from the Scottsdale Running Company

So this week was a killer work week. Myself and the rest of the guy in financial reporting worked about 70 hours in four days. It was as thrilling as it was devastating. We had a deadline to meet, and “failure was not an option.” So we all dug in and cranked for four days. I’ve worked hard and with intensity before, but nothing like this. Even though this experience was challenging, the whole time I knew that we were going to be successful.

Looking back on my first interview, our CFO asked me, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Personally, I really don’t like that question. I always want to say, “Well, in a perfect world I will have made enough money to open a yoga studio in Norway, and I will be teaching yoga and managing the studio full-time, and traveling around Europe in my spare time." That’s usually not a good way to answer a serious question.

Anyway, I answered, “In 5 years I would like to be a fully formed professional. The type of a person that can handle challenging tasks, and make them look easy.” Well, after this past week, I know I am in exactly the right place to build the skill set of a “true professional.”

Some times we ask for things that are beyond our comprehension. I knew that I want to be a great tennis player, and went through the process of becoming one, only to discover that I just didn’t have that extra “something.” Now I am going through a different process to discover that I do have that “something” to be a true professional, but there is no easy way to reach this summit.

Namaste

Nothing Will Ever Change

"They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
- Andy Warhol

Over the past few days I have been thinking about how busy things have been at work, and looking forward to the day when the "storm" breaks. A thought from a few nights ago came back to me and I realized that none of this will ever change. Things will always be busy. There will never be a break from Life. Life just keeps coming at you. And that is not a bad thing. It's just how things are. This isn't something that I need to accept; it's something that needs to be embraced. This observation reminds me of a story from the lore of triathlon.

In 1989, Dave Scott was the most dominant athlete in the sport of triathlon. Perpetually nipping at his heels was Mark Allen. In training for the 1989 Ironman Championship, Mark realized that nothing about the race was going to change. The heat, wind, and his greatest competitor--Dave Scott--weren't going to change. The only way that he was going to win the race was to look within himself and make some deep seeded changes.

So he spent a whole year working on his "insides" and much as his physical stamina. He ran in the hottest days, rode in the heaviest winds, but he also trained less. He studied meditation, and simplified his life to focus on one thing: winning the Ironman. Guess what happened?

With two miles to go in the marathon, Mark Allen and Dave Scott are neck-in-neck. As they begin the final uphill in the race, Mark Allen pulls away. Dave Scott just doesn't have it. After Allen crosses the finish line, he breaks down into tears.

For most of us, it doesn't make sense to have just ONE thing in our life which consumes us. This is a fantastic way to live a dysfunctional life, or burn-out. However, I do think that is important to recognise that nothing will ever be perfect. Optimal conditions rarely happen. But in the face of this, I think that by looking inside and seeing what internal changes need to be made, the world that surrounds us begins to change.

So what changes do I need to make? Well, here goes:

• Study for the CPA exam each day. I don't need to kill myself studying 3 or 4 hours after a full work day, but I can study for an hour each day.
• I don't need to hit the gym every single day.
• I can't do everything. I need to be more mindful of what I spend my time doing.
• Sleep is important. Without it, I am going to be a miserable person.

So, that's what I am thinking about. Time to go home and do some CPA study....

Namaste

Balance - Does It Exist?

"I would like to reach a balance and forget a few things."
- Mick Jagger

Yesterday my good friend MAD and I got an interesting email string going about balance. The basic back drop to the conversation is this: we both are still trying to find out how to have our cake, eat it, and not get fat. No joke. Both of us are former college athletes and are addicted to the chemicals our bodies provide from a good workout out. On top of this, we both have work responsibilities, family responsiblities, and need sleep. Here are some of the highlights from the email conversation:

MAD: It is very hard to balance. I’ve sacrificed exercise and it is affecting my mood. I still don’t know how to balance it with the rest of my life.

ZA: Yeah.....it's affecting mine too. i don't know if there is any really acceptable answer to this question. in life there are a lot of demands. i think you just do the best you can each day. it's hard for me because I know i could get in super shape if I just had more time. I had more time at the old job, but I was bored and I wasn't very engaged in my work. now I am very engaged here, but tired, and getting fat....

It's funny because I used to have thoughts like, "When I get done with the accounting certificate program I'll have more time." And when I did, I did have more time, but then started working on getting the CPA license. I am sure that when I am done with that something else will come up and that elusive "extra" time will disappear. It seems that life is always about the same, things changing, but my overall level of deep satisfaction about the same.

MAD: That’s just it. How do we balance it all? I agree that there isn’t an acceptable solution other than to reduce your expectations. That sounds sad but for energetic, motivated, and driven people like us it is a sad reality. Remember those posts a long time ago where we discussed those single minded individuals who achieve greatness? I was saying that they do that by missing out on a lot of other things that life has to offer. They have chosen what they want to sacrifice. If you want too many things, you have to settle being average at most of them. You pick a few that get extra attention (wife, child, job…) and kind of let the rest squeeze in where they can. There just isn’t enough time. If you decide to be a super athlete then perhaps the job suffers.

I do the same thing about thinking in the future I’ll be able to do this or that. I’ve been thinking that for about a decade now and it hasn’t really changed. Granted my main focus has shifted from goal to goal but I’ve never been able to do everything that I want to do. We’re in the same boat.

ZA: I agree with you 100%, but I want to reframe what you just said:

1. Understand what your Core values are.
2. When you know your Core values, say "Yes," to them. This will mean you say, "No" to other things.
3. There are things that you will enjoy doing that are outside of your Core values. When you engage in them, have realistic expectations.

I would say that since I was 22 I have been in the process of shifting how I allocate time. Now I spend more doing what is consistent with my Core values and letting the rest fall to the side. I've gotten better at knowing and accepting myself and liking those things. In the past I was sort of suspicious of my Core values, but now I really like them. Now I would say that I do more of what matters than what I really want in the moment. There is a distinction between the two. I know now that I can't do everything that I want, but if I am smart, I can do the majority of what is truly meaningful.

Last thought: When I think of a guy on the trapeeze, he doesn't just haul ass across the high wire. He walks across and makes adjustments so that he doesn't fall off. Balance isn't about serenity; balance is all about making adjustments in the face of change.

Namaste

An Easter Blog.....

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! "- Rocky Balboa in Rocky Balboa

Yesterday I rented Rocky Balboa from the video store. In light of the Easter holiday, I think this selection was appropriate. The story-line is pretty simple: a former champion comes out of retirement for an exhibition boxing match with the reigning heavy weight champion. Everyone thinks the guy is crazy, but it's not about what everyone else thinks: It's about what the Champ thinks. He's got to do this, or he just won't be himself.

Call me a heretic, but I think that Jesus and Rocky have a lot in common. They are both men of great determination and character. The deck is stacked against them, but they know that deep in their bones that what they are doing is possible. If they give up, then they are already dead.

On a personal level, this movie really spoke to me. Growing up, I would watch a Rocky movie the night before a tennis tournament. A lot of things have been going on--professionally and personally--and I was beginning to feel a little sorry for myself. This movie woke me up from this little funk. This movie reminded me that I still have plenty of stuff in the "basement" and it's time to rededicate myself to CPA training, and let the unimportant things fall to the side. It's what I got do.......

Namaste

In the End....

"Some of you are thinking that you won't fight. Others, that you can't fight. They all say that." [holding up a sword] "Thrust this into another man's flesh, and they will applaud and love you for that. You may even begin to love them. Ultimately, we're all dead men. Sadly, we cannot choose how but, what we can decide is how we meet that end, in order that we are remembered, as men. Gladiators, I salute you."
- Proximo in the movie Gladiator

One of my favorite movies of all time is Gladiator. In one scene the character of Maximus and his fellow gladiator-slaves are taken to a large arena, and their handler/owner Proximo give the aforementioned speech. It's true, we are all going to die. With Easter upon me, I have been thinking about the topic of Death. Specifically, I have been thinking that what remains after an individual dies as one of the measures of the quality of their life. Regardless of what you think about Jesus Christ, he left much after his death.

And with this topic of Jesus' death, I thought to myself, "What would Jesus think of the Catholic Church today if he were to return?" One on hand, I think that he would be overjoyed about the ministry to the poor in developing nations. I think he would be proud of how many individuals have dedicated their lives to educate young people and to each them about the underlying dignity of the human person.

On the other hand, I think he would be sickened to see some of the atrocities that the Catholic Church has either caused or done nothing to stop. The sexual abuse scandals which the Catholic Church covered up, the concordance that the Vatican signed with Nazi Germany, and the Holy Wars all come to mind. Were Christ to return today, I think there would be Hell to pay for these actions. The Catholic Church in many ways is no better than the Pharisees that Jesus railed against during his day and time.

People like say "God is love." It's true, and it's trite. But when you get right down to it, ultimately what we do unto others is what we do to ourselves. It's a strange paradox for an even stranger world. A Buddhist would call it karma; a Catholic would say that it's proof for God's sense of humour.

Randomly I had a conversation about the Catholic Church with a very beautiful woman. She highlighted all the good things about the Church, while I was focusing on all the nasty things that have gone on. All my comments were valid, and had teeth, but after our conversation I had a very chrysaline thought: "It's a lot easier to comment on what is wrong than it is to comment on what's right."

Namaste

One Down (Maybe), Three to Go

“Forgiveness means letting go of all possible hope for a better past.”
- Gil Fronsdal

So yesterday I sat for the Audit portion of the CPA exam. It wasn’t the hardest thing that I’ve ever done, but it wasn’t the easiest either. It was in that warm middle pocket. I’d be very surprised if I didn’t pass this section of the Exam, but I have been surprised before. I’ll just have to wait until June rolls around to get my score. In the meantime, I will be sitting for the Business Economic Conceptions section of the Exam on May 5, 2007. Yes, it’s a Saturday. I’m planning on taking it, then blowing off some serious steam.

Not really much else to say right now. Feeling fatigued from not having much downtime, but hopefully I’ll make up for it when this process is over. In the scope of Eternity, this really isn’t that bad.